When I was in high school, my senior thesis covered the concept of change. I wrote how change was the only constant in our world. I have realized over the last few years that I am not a person who likes change. I like things to stay as they are-the way I have known it always to be. But since change is the only constant-it is inevitable things will change.
I woke up last night from a dream where in the dream I found out I was pregnant. I had a panic attack for a good 45 minutes. I tried to pray for peace but I am still freaked out today. I know I am psyching myself up for no reason but finding out that I am pregnant may cause me to totally freak. Why? Because this means that there is no going back now.
My senior English teacher told me "That the greatest journeys begin with good-bye." Which means that in order for the next phase to begin we have to learn to let go of something else. We are about to enter the greatest joy of our life-moving into our first home, starting a family. And although I look forward to this moment, I am still a little freaked. I try to act all tough with Jeff-someone has to be the rock right?!? And trust me, if I told him I was freaking out-he would say then we need to wait. But of course, waiting is not really an option because neither one of us are getting any younger.
So I ask you all to pray for us. Pray that for the next 45 days (that is when my pill runs out-and I am NOT renewing it!) that we will take life one day at a time. Pray that Jeff and I will be at peace with where God leads us. Pray that we will be joyful as we embark on the greatest but biggest change thus far.
And before I forget to tell you-I am so thankful that God is the one constant that won't change! And one more thing I keep telling myself "If Jodi, Maurine, Kendra and Rachel can do it so can I!" (Love you chicks!)
I woke up last night from a dream where in the dream I found out I was pregnant. I had a panic attack for a good 45 minutes. I tried to pray for peace but I am still freaked out today. I know I am psyching myself up for no reason but finding out that I am pregnant may cause me to totally freak. Why? Because this means that there is no going back now.
My senior English teacher told me "That the greatest journeys begin with good-bye." Which means that in order for the next phase to begin we have to learn to let go of something else. We are about to enter the greatest joy of our life-moving into our first home, starting a family. And although I look forward to this moment, I am still a little freaked. I try to act all tough with Jeff-someone has to be the rock right?!? And trust me, if I told him I was freaking out-he would say then we need to wait. But of course, waiting is not really an option because neither one of us are getting any younger.
So I ask you all to pray for us. Pray that for the next 45 days (that is when my pill runs out-and I am NOT renewing it!) that we will take life one day at a time. Pray that Jeff and I will be at peace with where God leads us. Pray that we will be joyful as we embark on the greatest but biggest change thus far.
And before I forget to tell you-I am so thankful that God is the one constant that won't change! And one more thing I keep telling myself "If Jodi, Maurine, Kendra and Rachel can do it so can I!" (Love you chicks!)
3 comments:
You can do it! Love you!
I will say a prayer for you and your husband. It is one of the greatest adventures you can ever take. My children have opened up the world to me in ways I couldn't have imagined:D
There is no way you can predict or prepare for everything or imagine the flood of blessings and changes, but you can rest in God through it all. Millions of people have done this. It's all in His hands, and He has a master plan for the Young family. Relax and don't take more than one test a day. I am praying for you both--really embrace this time for just the two of you, not wishing away the days and months till there's three....Love you!
Post a Comment