When tears our shed in my house it is because I am either really angry and need to let out some steam or because I am on my knees praying for a friend or family member and sometimes my own wretched soul.
I have been known to shed a tear when a sweet commercial comes on and I cried like a baby the year that Fantasia won "American Idol." But these days, I find myself shedding a tear from the sweet emails, cards and phone calls our house has been receiving. I am so blessed to have friends, family and even strangers reach out to our family during this time. God is good to provide us with community.
Last night though I had a different type of shedding of tears. My husband hurt my feelings. I will not go into the details because we have moved forward, all is forgiven. But he hurt my feelings, bottom line.
Finally last night around 2 a.m I broke down and started doing the "ugly cry," the cry that leaves you with such a headache and your voice sounding like you have a serious cold because of all the mucus stuck inside your nose. It was not pretty. I cried for many things other than Jeff hurting my feelings-I cried for my cousin and her long day, I cried for our family, I cried for my great-grandmother who is hanging on by a thin thread and I cried for myself because I am sick of feeling sad. But I soon found comfort.
Jeff came to my side of the bed, wrapped his arms around me and sat there silently stroking my hair until I could not cry anymore. It was a beautiful feeling! At one point I thought to myself, "This is why God gives us helpmates." He later asked me what I needed from him to get through this chapter of our life and I smiled and said, "You just did it."
So with that, I am thankful for a husband who for now is not trying to fix the problems around me but comfort me as we walk this journey. We don't know what the next few weeks hold for us but we know that we will take it one step at a time together and for me that is what a good marriage is all about.
"Thank you Lord for blessing me!"
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5 comments:
Wow! Thank you for taking the time to come over and share the awesome things God is doing for your cousin through this little blogging hobby we share! I originally found your blog purely "by chance" (God, of course). You had commented on another blog I read (can't remember now which one) and I liked your blog name, so I checked you out. Krista I met (so far only online) because she is a patient of my brother, whose daughter (my niece) has recently undergone a triple organ transplant and is now fighting cancer. They live in Longview, TX, just an hour or so from Paris, where I guess your cousin lives? Krista came to my site via my niece's www.ashleysstory.org and that is how we "met." I have no idea how she knows of your precious nephew. I wonder if your cousiin may know my brother and SIL through both having babies in the hospital? I can't wait to hear how this all happened. So many people have likewise prayed for my sweet niece and I am glad to hear of all the support your family is getting. Kanyon will definately be on our short list of baby friends to pray for here now. Is it O.K. if I list their site in my side bar for prayer? Please know that we also continue to pray for God to mend their hurting hearts in Jadye's passing. It must be a real roller coaster for you all right now. But I thank God to get to be a part of praying, especially now that I feel a little more personal connection.
By the way-I have a jeff too!
I just posted this long comment on here and somehow it disappeared :(
That is so irritating! My aunt is the secretary at the Primary School where Jaymie teaches! I have posted a Prayer Request on my site for anyone who reads to Pray for Jaymie and Kory! My heart hurts for them! Also, I got to Church with Ethan's Aunt (his moms sister) They are a beautiful family. Your family will contine to be in our Prayers! I love your post! I wish I could break down and cry like that-I usually just get angry! Sometimes it is good to let it out ! Have a Blessed Day, visit anytime and I will do the same!
Sorry you had a rough day, some days are jsut like that. Hope your week gets better.
I am praying for you! Hope you have a much better week!
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