Chasing the Baby Blues Away...

I wasn't going to tell you all this but since I am feeling much better about the whole thing I feel I must, because I am not myself if I don't tell you ever detail of my life...via the blog.

Here's the thing: I hated celebrating Mother's Day this year. If I could of boycotted the whole thing I would of in a heartbeat. I was just not in the mood. I was mad. I was sad. I was hopeful. I was sick to my stomach. I was depressed. And I started the day-knowing full well that I was NOT PREGNANT. I felt like the whole day was a cruel joke at my expense.

Now let me take a moment to explain myself. Jeff and I have been trying to get pregnant since January. I did not think it would take this long. I realize that it has only been a few months but I still didn't think it would take this long. And let me just say that I am only writing this for me. Because the truth is I am not looking for your sympathy, and I am not asking for you to write me your story either about how long it took you to get pregnant. I am mostly writing this to serve as a reminder of my journey-a stepping stone for me to file away in the archives to review at a later date, whenever that later date may be. Because I am not anyone, if I do not have my faith and I believe that God will bless us, one day, in His timing, not mine. But I was frustrated because I wanted so badly to tell my mom and Jeff's mom that I was pregnant on Mother's day. That just sounded like a sweet story that I could pass on to my children, grandchildren but more importantly to scrapbook. Since my life does revolve around the question, "Wouldn't this make a great scrapbook page?" Pathetic I know but true.

I stayed home Sunday night from celebrating my mother-in-law because I had a migraine and Jeff said he did not want to have to haul me to the restroom and watch me throw up during dinner. He said it would make him feel better if I was sick in the comfort of my own home. Isn't he sweet? Or sweet might not be the right word for it, if you get my drift. So I spent the remainder of the night sipping on 7-up, crying until I had no tears left and praying. Well sort of praying, let's just say I was angry venting to God. I kept thinking of all of the barren women in the Bible that I felt a real kinship with. And let's be honest, I am not really myself if I don't over dramatize my life. I realized that night that I was done with the drama. While sitting on my bed that night, I looked in the mirror across from my bed and spoke rather frankly to my reflection. "Quit your crying, you big baby! One day you will look back at this day and laugh at how stupid you are acting. So quit your whining and start smiling since now you have another month, maybe more, to loose that weight you have been complaining about."

So with that the pity party stopped or at least has been put on hold, God knows I may pick up that sad tune the next go round. Or at least I will try to limit the tears to 5 minutes rather than 48 hours. I was a sight for sore eyes, let me tell you!

And you know, God has a funny sense of humor, maybe it was because I said some horrible things to Him that He decided He would show me "the real world with kids."

My afternoon went something like this: I was waiting for Faith in the school line, while Elijah was sleeping in his car seat. (Of course, he wouldn't take a nap for me all day even though he was yawning and rubbing his eyes from noon on but no nap he would take until we were 2 minutes out of their neighborhood and he is sound asleep...figures). I took Faith to Sonic after school, because I decided yesterday, that I was going to be the type of Mom that took the kids to get a sweet treat after school each day. (Someone write that down on my list of words I may eat one day!) We came home and played outside for a little bit and then both of the kids started to cry when I told them we needed to go into the house so I could fix dinner. What was I to do, leave them outside so they could play "Frogger" with the cars passing by? I don't think so! So Elijah came in and banged his head repeatedly on the back door saying "Out! Out!" to the point I thought the little kid might be loosing brain cells from all the "head banging." I asked Faith to take him outside for me. She said, "No way! I want to play on the come-put-er." (She says that word so cute) And I replied, "Uh, how about I take the computer away for the night since you are acting sassy." (She frustrates me when she gets sassy like that and sadly I sound just like her from time to time.) And she said, "Ohhhkay!" real drawn out and huffy like but she did it sass and all! And I caught her via my camera smiling at one point. Then my mom called telling me she was bringing home a homesick Katelyn. Jeff called to say he was hungry and coming over to eat. Would I be able to have dinner on the table soon since he had to go to work early? Elijah was back inside at this point, playing under my feet while Faith was trying to sneak in one of those shows that I know her parents did not allow. So I was constantly saying, "Faith you know better. CHANGE IT!" I decided to feed Elijah since he would be trapped in his chair so I could finish cooking dinner. In peace. Or so I thought. (Mother's are reading this shaking their head saying "Amateur!") Jeff came in asking this question and that question about this and that. And I almost screamed. "Stop talking!" But then Katy came home, it was sad but really sweet when all she wanted to do was cuddle with me. So I threw supper on the table like they were a pack of wolves, picked up the middle child, who loves a good cuddle now and then and rocked. I kissed the sweet spot on the top of her head and told her repeatedly that I missed her and loved her so, so much and was glad she was going to be able to spend the night with me. Then I was interrupted by my mom who was holding the littlest one who had spaghetti-o's all over him from head to toe. So Jeff and I took him to the bathtub and hosed him off. While Faith assisted in putting soap on his sweet little ravioli head. And after his bath, I played "chase the naked baby" around the house while he squealed and squealed. It was pure heaven. And it got even better when we danced to the music on American Idol. I took pictures of that too cause the last few days are perfect scrapbook pages!

And the sour mood was gone, completely gone as I heaved my exhausted self into bed at nine-thirty. (By the way, I usually go to bed at 12 or later! Ha! Ha!) I was praising God for the fact that I still had a few more months of peace and quiet and I prayed an extra measure of strength for Missy because that girl needs my prayer, more than I ever could imagine. Or she needs my praise more often than I give it because she is doing a great job! (Yes, read it two times more if you want, Missy! You deserve all the praise!)

So thank you God, for making everything beautiful in YOUR time in my life!

And Missy, I hope you enjoy the detail rundown of our afternoon. I am amazed at how you can keep up with them and still remain standing and smiling! Especially with Miss Sass in the house! (Don't tell her I wrote that! Ha! Ha!)

But I love them, each and every one of them and would do it all over again in a heartbeat because their sweet faces help to chase the baby blues away!