Some days are hard and leave you asking "Why God? Why?" These are the words that were spoken by Jeff and I as we prayed for a sweet family member this past Saturday.
Jeff's cousin's wife was diagnosed with melanoma cancer back in September. The cancer has now spread to lungs, stomach and part of her brain. Obviously the diagnosis does not look good. Right now we are in the wait and see time frame and pleading with God for a miracle.
I have not slept a full night since I heard the latest news. My heart has been heavy. Jennifer is only 35 years old with three young kids. I will be honest and say that I think this flat out sucks.
Last night I was tossing so much, Jeff encouraged me to get out of bed to pray it out. I guess after 6 years together he knows the cure to my insomnia. I sat on the floor and just felt numb. I know God's ways are not always our ways but I am at a total loss for words right now. I pray for God to reveal His glory to us. I pray that no matter what this season holds that we would turn to God and lean not on our own understanding. I pray that He fills me with strength as we walk this path with our cousins.
When Jeff and I got home from spending time with them all I wanted to do was hold tight to Jeff. I don't want to let one day go by without hugging him and letting him know how much he means to me. No one knows how long we have on this earth. I am realizing yet again that life is fragile.
I ask all of you to keep Cousin Jennifer in your prayers. Please also pray for Brent, Harrison, PJ and Grayson. The journey is unclear but we know God is with us and guiding us even in this.
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2 comments:
Ugh . .this makes me feel sick and heavy and I don't know them. thanks for sharing your hurt and your burden - I will life this family up tonight as well with you. Can't wait for heaven!!!!
I know that God weeps with this as much as we do. He never meant for death to be a part of the picture but Satan did - and Satan still wants us to feel the sting of death. I've learned in my "old" age to say, "how long, God" rather than why. Come, conquering Christ, and silence the sting of illness and death FOREVER!
Mom
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