My Testimony

I grew up in a Christian home with Christian roots. I was happy.
My parents divorced when I was eleven-I wasn't as happy anymore but learned to mask it.

I spent my summers at Camp Deer Run surrounded by friends and cousins-lots of cousins. I was happiest when I was at Deer Run, I learned about Jesus. I grew up in the youth group surrounded by positive Christian role models. Making the decision to be baptized was not a hard one for me, it's what you did when you were young. In my circle of friends, there was something not right with you if you didn't get baptized before you entered high school. I made the decision because it was all I knew. When I was in high school, I didn't believe in drinking, smoking or having pre-marital sex. You just didn't do that in my circle of friends. In fact, my friends were members of the church youth group. We were the leaders in our church. We were the fun, loving, good kids who always attended the retreats and signed up for every mission trip. Our parents never worried about us because they knew we were not the typical kid. I took my faith for granted.

I graduated high school and the next day headed out to Deer Run to work on staff. I looked forward to this time because I was going to be able to spend my summers laughing and playing with my friends and cousins. I later went off to college at ACU. Still wearing my mask of happiness. Truth was, I was sad, incredibly sad.

At this point in my life, I started trying to find myself. People would ask me, "Why do you believe in God?" My answer was because I just do. Although I had a strong faith and believed in God I could not answer the questions about why do you believe this and why do you believe that. I began working at Chili's. If you have ever worked in the restaurant business you know it is not cool to be a Christian, very worldly. I wanted to fit in. I had always fit in wherever I was at the time. I didn't like being the outsider. I never talked about my faith. I prayed-but it was always for God to bless me with a certain amount of tips so I could pay my electric bill or car payment. I was angry those days He didn't provide, happy when He did. I soon found myself compromising all that I grew up knowing not to do. Smoking-did that. Drinking-did that. Sex before marriage-did that. It was all so that I would not look like an outsider. Looking back, I am sad by these choices but God was there with me through it all. I could of become an alcoholic-I didn't. I could have become addicted to cigarettes-I gave that up cold turkey. I could of become pregnant and had to have been latched with God only knows who for the rest of my life-I didn't.

But God brought people in my life to be a friend to me. To stand beside me. I was still wearing my mask. I wanted everyone from my home church to believe that I was still Susan from Sunday school, when the truth was-I was anything but. I wanted my family to believe I was making it on my own financially-when I was drowning in debt. I wanted people to believe I was happy-when all I wanted to do was cry most days. I wanted people to believe I had it all together the truth was my world was falling apart.

My life came to a grinding halt in April 2001. It was a devastating time not only for me but for my family. It was through this process that I started allowing God to speak to me. I had met Jeff, my now husband who encouraged me to move beyond my past. He did not allow me to wallow in my pain-instead he and a couple from my church encouraged me to go see a counselor. This couple paid for each and every visit, they felt this strongly about helping me and moving forward. I babysat for them once a week, each time they prayed with me. I was broken and I finally realized that in order for me to move beyond my past I would need to acknowledge my failures. I would need to acknowledge that without God-I was nothing but trash. Jeff and I began the process of working towards marriage. He and I would sit with my counselor talking about our expectations and what we wanted from each other and God. We became transformed from the inside out. The mask was removed.

We became members of a church separate from my home church. It was the first time that someone sat me down and talked me through what it means to be a Christian. Some may find this odd since I grew up in the church. But never before, atleast to my knowledge, did some one clearly present the gospel to me. What it meant to be saved, why we are baptized and why it is important for us to seek and save the lost.

I learned over the years not to be ashamed of my past sins. God sent His son to die on the cross to save me. In return I am to live my life according to His Word, making the most of every opportunity. Loving others the same way that those in my life loved me-judgment free full of grace. The greatest thing about the people who God used, they spoke the truth to me in love-they strongly encouraged me to grow beyond the "junk" and live and be the person God has called me to be.

Thank you for letting me share-for more great testimonies-click here to Created For His Glory.

God Bless and May each of you remember that Jesus died for us and wants you to lay your past and present burdens at His feet. He will do the rest-just be still and know that He is God!