This Time Last Year

This time last year, my heart was longing for God to answer two long term prayers...a baby and a house.  My mom invited my brother and I to a night celebrating Bible study leaders.  The night fell on her birthday and all she wanted was for her two kids to be sitting beside her, worshipping together.  They took a moment to pray for each of us and speak scripture over us, prophetic words were given to many that night.  My word given to me was to delight in the Lord and to wait on His timing, He was going to answer my prayer by the end of the summer.  I was skeptical but something came over me that night that filled me with a deep peace.  I knew someway, somehow God would either answer my prayers or He would change my heart to line with His.  {Read the original post here}

This time last year, I was working through one question that a friend posed to me at the beginning of the summer, "If God doesn't answer your prayer for a child, will you be okay?"  To be honest, I honestly didn't know and was terrified to admit that I probably wouldn't be okay. As Rich Mullins says, "Surrender does not come naturally to me" and I constantly found myself fighting against His will rather than resting in it.  Yet by faith, I moved ahead knowing that was exactly what I needed to do if I ever wanted to have a joyful life.

{Read the original post here. }

This time last year, I was in a complete stand still but choosing joy over sadness.  This my friends, was a choice I had to make every single day.  It was by faith that I chose to live in the moment and trust that one God would answer my longing for a child and move us out of the one bedroom pad. Nothing says living in the moment like jumping in the pool on a hot day, fully clothed with one of your favorite cousin-in-laws at her son's one year birthday party.

This time last year, I learned to bloom where I was planted.  August 2009 was what I like to call my great awakening.  I decide it was high time I started living my life instead of waiting for my life to begin.  I made a to do list and I filled my days with good things while surrounding myself with faithful friends who inspired me and prayed along with Jeff and I.  Jeff and I enjoyed our summer to the fullest with a few random road trips thrown in.  Gone were the days of me sobbing the day that I realized a baby would not be coming.  In fact, it was around this time that I started to ask the Lord to show me each month why this was not the month for positive plus sign.  And each month, God was faithful to show me time and time again that His timing was perfect.

I share all of this with you for one main reason, to encourage those in the same place I was this time last year.  There is a little song that I used to sing when I was in the middle of my journey.  You may know it as the "Going on a Bear Hunt" song.  I like to call it the "Got to Go Through It to Find Joy" song. 

I realized that the path to joy could not be found by taking the short cut. 

"Can't go around it, can't go above it, can't go under it--you gotta go through it"

Last summer, I spent a lot of time reading God's word and looking up scripture that talked about timing and plans.  I cried out to God more days than I can remember and was blessed with two great friends that I could talk to openly and honestly about how much I despised this time of waiting.  The great thing about these two friends is the encouragement that they gave to find a ministry that I could serve in.  Live beyond yourself is a good way to sum up the words these friends shared with me.  I found true joy in serving others and living beyond the four walls of the one bedroom waiting room we lived in.

Did answers come at the end of the summer?  Nope.  I didn't get pregnant until 5 months later.  Did I find the peace and joy I was longing to find? Absolutely!

I was recently reminded by my  mom about the night we shared last May.  She asked me if I realized that at the end of this summer I would be holding a sweet baby boy in our new home.  God knew all along His plans for us and I wonder why I ever doubted Him to provide in the first place.  You see, God's timing is not my timing-- His timing is PERFECT.  So if you find yourself in your own waiting season, let me encourage you to not give up on Him.  He will answer your prayers someway or somehow even if that means changing your heart to match His plans for you.

God is good.

God is faithful.

God's timing is perfect!

God bless your journey!