Picking Out His Name

Is it just me or are boy names hard to pick? When Jeff and I started to go through the list of names, the one thing we agreed on is the middle name. If it was a boy, he would be named after Jeff's middle name, Jon. If the baby was a girl, she would have my middle name Gwen. Both of our middle names were passed down from family members and we wanted our children to carry on the same tradition.

The problem we found with the middle name Jon was the first name needed two syllables that sounded good with a one syllable middle name. We also wanted a name that would be a good boy name but also a strong man's name later in life.

There were a few names we wrote down as possibilities but we never could agree on the one we liked the most. Jeff from the very beginning said he wanted to name our son Andrew. I was a bit more hesitant. Andrew is a great name but two of my good friends also have boys named Andrew. I wanted to be original. I wanted to use Jackson at first and call him Jack but Jeff said no. I also suggested Jeffrey (after the baby's daddy) but Jeff said no. He did not want our son to be called junior. So for weeks we were stalled out where the boys name was concerned.

We didn't worry too much because we thought we were having a girl. And if Baby Youngster were a girl, her name would be Maggie Gwen. I was happy. Jeff was happy. No big decision needed to be made there.

Well....

The week before the big sonogram reveal, I started to pray over the name list. I was praying specifically for the boy name. I looked up the meaning of each of the names on our boy list and started to pray for the characteristics of what I hoped our son would have. I prayed for our son to be a leader, strong, a man's man and to love the Lord from an early age. I was starting to lean in one direction after my time in prayer but I kept it to myself because after all, we were having a girl.

Later that week, I was watching the movie The Proposal. The two main characters in the movie are named Margaret and Andrew. I thought that was funny since both our babies names were in that movie. This started me leaning further in the same direction as Jeff.

But what sealed the deal, was this picture on Pottery Barn Kids.


And yes, this is our bedding we will be using in the nursery too! I fell in love with the name right then and there. The night before the big reveal, I stayed awake praying for the next day. As I looked over the name list and the meanings behind the list, I knew that boy or girl we had made the right decision for our child.

The day of the big reveal, I was very calm but something inside me told me it would be a boy. When the sonographer said, "Do you see it?" I said, "Well hello Baby Andrew!" Jeff on the other hand was in shock for about 24 hours but has since fully embraced the idea of having a son. He actually is pretty cute about the whole thing which makes my mama heart soar.

I absolutely love the meaning behind Andrew Jon.

Andrew means manly warrior
Jon means God has given; a gift of God

Oh how I pray that my son , Andrew be a manly, warrior for the Lord. And it seems appropriate that his middle name means gift of God since that is exactly what he is, a gift. Plus it will serve as a nice reminder when our son is getting disciplined and I have to say, "Andrew Jon, come here!" I will remember that this boy is a gift that I waited a long time ... even though he disobeyed, I will still consider him as a blessing! Ha!

And let me state for the record. His name is Andrew. Not AJ and not Andy. His name is Andrew. IF we shorten his name, he will go by Drew since this too is a family name. For now, his name is Andrew. I know I sound crazy clarifying this but a few of my friends have started calling him AJ already and I keep thinking, no his name is ANDREW!

But really, all that is water under the bridge because his Dad still insists on nicknaming him Duke. (A blog post for another day)

18 more weeks until we are holding our son, Andrew Jon. My arms can't wait and my lips are itching to kiss his sweet cheeks!!

Oh, how I love this boy!!!

A Baby Moon...sort of

I am not sure how to jump back into the blog world when I have been gone for so long. I guess I will take a lesson from Mary Poppins when she pops into the chalk worlds and just jump in with both feet.

Here goes nothing...

The month of March has been nuts. Jeff and I celebrated 7 years of marriage and a week later, I was saying goodbye to my sweet Granny B. I will write a post one day just for Granny but today, I'm not ready.

Instead I want to tell you about a little oops of my husband's that turned out to be a tremendous blessing for us both. :)

The only gift I asked for at Christmas was tickets to see Phantom of the Opera. Unfortunately at Christmas the tickets had yet to go on sale which meant Jeff could easily forget this gift, my only major gift (beside Baby Youngster of course). I love my husband dearly but sometimes he is known for putting things off until the last minute. For example, the night before we were to leave town this October for our big road trip, he was booking our rooms at midnight. It worked out beautifully but that is just the way he rolls. I usually don't let this bother me because he has NEVER failed me when it comes to things like this. But friends, I have lived in the DFW area all my life and know how fast tickets to things like Phantom of the Opera can go. I asked him a few random times if he had purchased our tickets yet. "No, but I will." Finally the last weekend of the show came and there was still no mention of tickets. I took matters in to my own hands that morning and thought I would see if I could get lucky and find the last two tickets in the DFW area. I had no luck. Jeff thought he would take a spin at it (because he knew he was going to be in BIG trouble if he failed me now). He found one. He thought this was great. He said, "I will drop you off and wait for you to be done." Ladies, does that sound fun to you? When he told me his plan, I said, "You've got to be kidding me." Nope. He was dead serious. I had already did a little looking on my own for future tours of Phantom of the Opera and saw that it would be playing in Austin in two weeks. I casually mention this to him. I have never seen my husband move so fast. Not only did he buy good tickets but he paid extra for GREAT tickets. We decided this weekend to Austin would be a little Baby moon for just the two of us.

The Monday before we left town my grandmother's funeral was held. By the time Friday rolled around, I was ready to be alone with Jeff. All I wanted to do was get in the car, turn on our favorite road trip tunes and hold Jeff 's hand. It sounds a bit corny but truly, that is what I wanted and needed most. We had a wonderful time soaking up our last road trip before the baby comes. I cried a few random times but mostly I felt a deep peace wash over me. We couldn't have asked for a better weekend. Sadly I came home with a sinus infection and no voice but it was well worth the trip. You can tell from the below picture I was feeling rough that day. Not to mention I mislabeled my shampoo bottle and washed my hair in body wash. I had it dry by the time I realized my mistake. Truly this weekend was a gift from God and a nice way to close out the week, not to mention the weather was PERFECT!

Here is proof of my growing belly @ 20 weeks.

On the way home, we stopped for gas at Willie's Place outside of Hillsboro. It's a fun little gas joint full of Willie Nelson memorabilia. I tried to find a baby onezie but they were out. BOO!

While we were there a trucker stopped me to ask if we were having a boy or a girl. I told him we would find out on Wednesday. He proceeded to tell me that his daughter just called with news that she gave birth to a 13.5 pound baby girl. The lady behind the counter and I both said at the same time, "Ouch!" I am pretty sure it was a C-section but can you imagine lugging that baby around in the final weeks. WOW!

Here is one last picture of the theatre at Willie's Place.

Jenny's Songs

Last night about this time, I had crashed on the couch. When I finally woke up at 10:00 p.m I knew I would never go to sleep. I turned on the computer to check on our friend, Jenny. I spent the next 5 hours praying and checking my computer for updates. When I fell asleep at 3, I was thankful for that long nap. I think God was preparing me for standing united with many on the front lines as we prayed through the night.

If you don't know, Jenny was admitted to the hospital last Thursday after fighting the flu for a week. She was diagnosed with septic pneumonia and is in critical condition. Many of us have been praying day and night for God to heal our sweet friend.

Last night was a very critical night for her. All night long there were updates on her Care Page pleading with us to pray for specific requests. I believe God's presence was with many of us as we gathered around the computer, texted each other and waited for updates.

I was amazed with how many people had a paricular praise song playing in the background. Many of us were commenting on Facebook with our different songs.

Thanks to those comments and my ITouch genius list, I came up with a playlist that I like to call, "Jenny's Songs."

I wanted to share this list with you for those of you praying for Jenny so you could add to your music library. Also if you are looking for good, uplifting music, you will not be dissappointed with these.

1. Mighty to Save (Jenny's anthem) by Hillsong


2. God of This City by Chris Tomlin (my personal anthem)


3. You Never Let Go by Matt Redman


4. Here is Our King by David Crowder


5. What Faith Can Do by Kutless


6. By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North


7. Strong Tower by Kutless


8. Desert Song by Hillsong


9. Everlasting God by Lincoln Brewster


10. Prasie You in This Storm by Casting Crowns


11. Healing Hand of God by Jeremy Camp


12. Call Your Name by Third Day


13. Show Us Your Glory by Third Day


14. My Savior My God by Aaron Shust


15. Healer by Kari Jobe


16. Beautiful Lord by Leeland


17. He Reigns by Newsboys


18. You Reign by Mercy Me


19. There Will Be a Day by Jeremy Camp


20. What Do I Know of Holy by Addison Road

This by no means scrathes the surface of good songs out there. In fact, if you have a song that God has laid on your heart while praying for Jenny, please leave a comment. I would love to take my list and yours and compile one mega CD for Jenny and her family to "cling to" during this time.

God is faithful to bring us together to pray for a dear friend in her time of need.

This picture was taken this time two years ago, when a group of us ladies hosted a shower for Cousin Lauren.

My Closet Runneth Over

I have been so blessed with the generosity of those around me who are passing down their maternity wears to me. My closet runneth over.



The first week after my aunt found out I was having a baby she got three big bags full of clothes from a friend at work. I immediately started to wear the maternity jeans because they were more comfortable than regular ole jeans and I didn't have to undo buttons on the way to the potty. In the stash of clothes was this shirt. It makes me laugh!

And let me take a moment to discuss my hair! Ever since I found out I was preggo, it has grown in volume, not in length. It is the strangest thing. I have gone from volume-i-zing my hair to de-frizzing my hair. I just find it funny that even the texture of my hair has changed in the past 3 months.

Okay, back to the clothes.

My sweet cousin Paige loaned me her maternity wardrobe, two big plastic bins worth. Oh how grateful I am to you, P! I took a picture Saturday night while I was sorting through them because I just enjoyed seeing all the piles of clothes to last me through the whole nine months. Especially in light of the fact that my husband has been known to ask a pregnant friend, "Isn't one pair of pants enough to last the whole pregnancy?" (That was over a year ago and you can bet your bottom dollar I started praying this would not be his philosophy during my pregnancy)



I am grateful to have a closet that runneth over, thanks to the generosity of my aunt and cousin.

You girls ROCK!!!

And Mr. Budget, thanks you too! :)

A Love/Hate Relationship

Since I am using my blog as a means to document this new chapter of our lives, I feel it only necessary to discuss the one thing that sums up my life right now.

Oh the joys of morning sickness...

Morning sickness and I have a love/hate relationship.

I love that I am sick since that is something I prayed I would be able to experience. I hate that the "sick" feeling lasts all day long.

I love that I work at home so that I can "get sick" in the privacy of my own home. I hate that when I drive my car these days, I have to carry a bag with me for those moments I can't pull over.

I love knowing that the Little Youngster is healthy but am looking forward to the day where I can keep food down for more than 5 minutes.

This week I start my 11Th week. I am praying that there will be light at the end of the tunnel soon. Yet at the same time, I am thankful that I am finally able to experience the joys of pregnancy. Even if it means the porcelain throne is my home away from home.

Many of my friends have given me some great tips on things that helped them. I have tried them all but none seem to work as well as what I found last night.

I found a box of these cookies at my in law's house and helped myself to a few. They are delicious and do the trick. Of course, I should have known that the Youngster would love cookies. Baby's Daddy is a huge fan of sweet treats too!

And on a bit of a side note, I want to say something to those of you who wish you could experience morning sickness but haven't had a chance. I still have many friends in my life who are praying for a baby. I always hated when people would complain about their pregnancy woes because I would think "Really? You are going to complain when you have all that you have ever wanted, a baby." I would have given nothing to be in their shoes. In fact, I wouldn't trade this part of my journey with anyone because it just means that God has heard my cried and blessed us. I am truly thankful for this opportunity but for the sake of documenting my journey, keep it real as well.

Yesterday in church we sang one of my all time favorite songs, I Stand In Awe of You. Needless to say, I cried like a baby as I thought about all the ways I stand in awe of God in this season of my life. There have been many prayers answered in all areas of my life and I can only give God the glory. I hope that as I continue to document our baby journey, even the not so fun parts, that you will hang with me. My goal is to give God the glory every step of the way yet keep it real for my own memory sake.

And one last thing about morning sickness.

I love that I have lost 10 pounds since I have been pregnant, courtesy of my trips to the porcelain throne.

The Day We Found Out...

On the day we found out, Jeff started singing our new theme song. I laugh out loud every time I think of him laying in bed singing, "One day at a time...SWEET JESUS!" And let's face it, I am little in awe that he knew the words to this little ditty. Can we say old school?



He then was watching his "girlfriend's" Christmas special when she sang one of my favorite Christmas songs. As this song was being sung, he kept saying, "So true, so true! mmm, mmm, sing it Faith."

The song? Well, watch the video by clicking here

I swear this man keeps me rolling! I couldn't be more thankful to be able to walk this journey with him. He keeps me laughing--that's for sure.

And for those of you wanting a "belly shot", here I am at 7 weeks. In this picture, I refer to the belly bump as my Clomid bump since it has been super hard to lose that little added fluff that was added two years ago. Oh well, it was all part of the process that led me here today. Even though for me, Clomid was a big waste of time and did nothing to aid. (sorry I will stop before I get on a soapbox) I still can't believe that God finally opened my womb even when doctors said it wouldn't happen without medical intervention. Still amazes me...oh right, no soapbox, here's the picture.




To God be the glory, great things He hath done

The Post That I Have Been Praying to Get to Write

Sunday, December 13Th God answered a huge prayer for Jeff and I. After 4 Years of trying for a child, I finally got my positive plus sign. Sit back, relax and enjoy reading the post I have been praying I would be able to write for many years.

Not sure where to begin because how can I possibly put into word's all that God has done in our lives over the past few weeks. I guess I should start with the week before Thanksgiving. My grandmother was very ill and we thought she was going to die at any moment. I am happy to report that she is still with us and doing much better. The night after I spent the day at the hospital, I went home and pleaded with God to allow me the chance to tell her I was pregnant one day. This thought went with me everywhere. I wanted desperately to share with her the news that God had finally answered our prayers. I remember at one point, bowing on my knees and telling God that I would be happy with whatever the outcome because I knew He was fully in control. I knew from that point forward whatever happened God was sovereign and that He would give me peace to walk whatever road He has laid out for me.

Fast forward to December 7Th and still nothing (if you know what I mean) I was officially 2 days late at this point. Yet I was trying to put it completely out of my mind and soak up the holiday season. December 12Th comes around and I am officially over a week late. That Saturday night, I decided to let Jeff know what was going on. He had been my biggest support of the last four years so I didn't want anyone to know but him. We decided that Sunday would be the big day to take the test. That night we were talking about the what ifs and at one point Jeff said, "If you are pregnant it will be an absolute miracle." And I responded back saying, "If I am not pregnant then there is something terribly wrong with my body because I have never been more than 3 days late." I went to bed that night praying for God to give me peace with whatever the outcome.

4:30 a.m December 13Th--I woke up from a deep sleep and felt the Lord was calling me to take a test. Somehow at that point I knew I was about to get the best Christmas present ever. I did what I needed to do and took the test out into the living room to wait for the results by the glow of the Christmas tree.

PREGNANT!

I knelled on the floor next to our tree, covered my mouth and said a silent prayer of thanks to God for finally giving me a positive plus sign. Here is a picture of my journal entry from that day.

An hour later, I went in and woke a sleeping Jeff with the wonderful news. I still laugh remembering the state of shock he walked around in the rest of that day.

The thing that most of my family and friends have been surprised that I actually waited to share the news. There was many times that I wanted to call everyone I knew to tell them right away but I really wanted the memory of sharing with our families on Christmas Day. And can you blame me? I think after four years of negatives and tears I should be allowed this bit of joy.

But there was one person I rushed to tell, my grandmother.

One of the greatest joys so far is seeing her face when I told her the news. At first she thought I was lying. I swore to her that this time, it's for real and then she started to cry. I cried because I still couldn't believe that God would allow me this chance to share this news with her. She said, "I thought God stopped listening to me years ago but now I see that He has not."

To God be the glory!

I promise to start blogging again and share our journey with you.

Thank you to all of you who have been faithful prayer warriors for us. We have been blessed with friends like you who stick by us through thick and thin.

More of the story coming soon so stay tuned.

This song has been in my head all Christmas season. It is one of those songs that I love to sing while reflecting on God's goodness. Every year at this time, I read through the book of Luke. This year I find myself reflecting on the verses that say "Mary pondered these things in her heart." I wonder what it must have been like to be the mother of God, knowing one day that his life would end on the cross. Talk about a woman who had to surrender to her wishes and desires to God. Yet the Bible doesn't ever mention that she tried to runaway with Baby Jesus to protect her son's life nor does it say that she locked her son up in her home to keep him from harm. It does say though that she pondered these things in her heart often. I believe that she probably defined what it means to bloom where you are planted. She lived her life fully and served the King graciously, knowing full well what would happen, considering the book of Isaiah already told her the end story for the Messiah, her son.

So with all the hustle and bustle that tends to take over this time of year, I find myself reflecting more on God's goodness. I also in awe of Mary and her life of sacrifice. Her story is an inspiring one.

May you be blessed this Christmas season

This Time Last Year

I have been reflecting today on where I was this time last year. On this day, 365 days ago, my heart was heavy awaiting the news of Brooklyn Beaver's birth, a baby who had been diagnosed with Spina-Bifida just months before.


I wrote this verse down:

"Do not be anxious about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done." Phil 4:6


I prayed endurance for her parents wherever this journey takes them.
I prayed for the Lord to continuing blessing sweet Brooklyn with a miracle.

Over the past year, I have had many conversations with Brooklyn's mom that have left me crying tears of joy. I know God is alive and active because of what He has done in Brooklyn's life. Many things that the doctors said would not ever happen, Brooklyn has done. She is a hard worker and it I believe a large part of her success is due to the fact that Brooklyn will not give up until she has mastered whatever task is at hand.

Today on her first birthday, I am thankful for this little girl. I am thankful that God has answered many of our prayers over the past year. One of my favorite things in recent days is watching her crawl, standing ovations were happening on my side of the screen that day. I can't wait to continue to watch God's miracles happen in this girl.


And I end this special birthday post with Brooklyn's biggest fan, her mom. Oh how I love this MJ lovin mama. ( "I'm singing a Mich*el J*ck*s*n song!")


Thank you Lord for all that you have done & all that you are going to do!

Happy Birthday Elijah!

I can't believe that today you are four! It seems like yesterday I was rushing to your house to keep your big sisters while your mom and dad drove in sleet and snow to get to the hospital before you came.

You, sweet E are such a joy to be around! I love your spunk as well as your sweet spirit.

You make being being an aunt super fun!

I can't wait to see the plans God has for you unfold!

I love you dearly,

Aunt Sue Sue

Halfway There

I thought I had enough lights but one set is a total dud.

Thankfully I have a hair appointment tomorrow and it's located next to one of my favorite craft stores!

The goal for tomorrow is simple...finish my Christmas decorating so I can spend the weekend basking in the glow. :)

Tonight's movie: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

"This is what Christmas is all about...I'll park the cars, check the luggage...I will just be outside the rest of the season." Clark Griswold after the in-laws come to town

One of my favorite traditions of the Christmas season is watching Christmas in Rockefeller Center. Usually while the show is going on, I am decorating my Christmas tree or apartment. This year we purchased a new tree and it sat in the box most of the night and all my favorite little ornaments and ceramic Santa's are still packed in storage. I am hoping to pull them out today or tomorrow but to be honest, I am not in a huge rush this year.

Last night I took time to savor the slower pace, sit by the fire, sipping hot Apple Cider and waiting with anticipation of the lighting of the NYC tree. I am trying hard to get in the Christmas spirit. I look forward to decorating my tree and sitting in the glow of the lights but for now baby steps is all I can accomplish.

Please continue to pray for our family. My grandmother was admitted to a nursing home yesterday for rehab. I realize this is a blessing but my heart still aches for my grandparents who are facing the reality that life as they know it coming to a grinding halt. I will be honest and say I ache for myself too since Christmas is Granny and my season. So many of my holiday traditions are traditions I share with my grandmother. I am so thankful to have had many great memories with my grandparents especially during the holidays. God has blessed me with rich legacy of love and laughter.

So for now, sipping cider by the fire light with an unopened Christmas tree, watching one of my favorite holiday shows is just what I needed this year.

A Christmas Album MUST

I purchased this album a few weeks back because we are singing a few of the songs at church this month. I highly recommend this album if you are looking for something special to add to your collection

My favorite song is Emmanuel.

Seriously, if you are looking for a good Christian album to play during the Christmas season, this is the one for you!

Thankful for Books

As many of you already know, I am an avid reader. I heart books!

The other night at church, I picked up a copy of Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot that I had been flipping through each week. I decided it was time to take this book home for myself when I read this section. I think it is hilarious yet very convicting.

SEVERAL WAYS TO MAKE YOURSELF MISERABLE

1. Count your troubles, name them one by one-at the breakfast table, if anybody will listen, or as soon as possible thereafter.

2. Worry every day about something. Don't let yourself get out of practice. It won't add a cubit to your stature but it might burn a few calories.

3. Pity yourself. If you do enough of this, nobody else will have to do it for you.

4. Devise clever but decent ways to serve God and mammon. After all, man's got to live.

5. Make it your business to find out what the Joneses are buying this year and where they're going. Try to do them at least one better even if you have to take out another loan to do it.

6. Stay away from absolutes. It's what's right for you that matters. Be your own person and don't allow yourself to get hung up on what others expect of you.

7. Make sure you get your rights. Never mind other people's. You have your live to live, they have theirs.

8. Don't fall into any compassion traps-the sort of situation where people can walk all over you. If you get too involved in other people's troubles, you may neglect your own.

9. Don't let Bible reading and prayer get in the way of what's really relevant-things like TV and newspapers. Invisible things are eternal. You want to stick with the visible ones-they're where it's at now.

Pretty thought provoking huh?

On another note, I heard a story the other night about Elisabeth. In the past few months, as she continues to age, she is not able to speak clearly but can only babble and no one can understand what she is saying. A friend at church was driving her home to Oklahoma when Elisabeth fell asleep in the car. At some point in her sleep, Elisabeth started to pray and began to do so out loud. Margaret said that she was able to actually understand every word she said to her Heavenly Father. Is that not the sweetest thing you have heard? And it goes to show that as we age, we may lose the ability to communicate with the people around us but we NEVER lose the ability to communicate with God. I don't know about you, but I pray I never lose the desire to want to communicate to my Heavenly Father in my old age. What a sweet legacy to leave to generations behind us!

I am thankful...

I am thankful for contentment.

I am thankful that I am at peace with the waiting.

I am thankful that God has showed us that waiting on His timing is a beautiful thing.

I am thankful that this waiting period is challenging us to trust Him more and not to lean on our own understanding.

I am thankful for being able to serve others.

I am thankful that every month, I can see God's hand working especially in the area of our marriage.

I am thankful for a husband who leads us.

I am thankful for friends who encourage us.

I am thankful for His word to inspire, direct and challenge us.

I am thankful for grace.

I am thankful for deep abiding joy.

I am thankful that my circumstances do not dictate my mood.

I am thankful for my journey.

A Big Ole Gratitude Post

My heart is full of conflicting emotions today. Truth is, I have been struggling the past few weeks to find gratitude but I don't want to stop looking for it either. I am a big believer in finding the good in all things. Call me Pollyanna if you want but I believe a grateful heart is the key to a joyful heart. I have struggled with being positive though the past few weeks. I have cried out to God and questioned whether or not He was really hearing my prayers. On top of my conflicting emotions, I have been watching my grandmother go downhill and my heart aches realizing that my favorite friend, comforter and Granny is not going to be around much longer. Which leads me to last night.

(Cagle cousins beware---tear jerker alert!)

For the past few weeks, I have been spending every Tuesday night with my grandmother. My grandfather has to work to pay the bills and Granny's health does not allow her to be left alone. I coordinated a Granny Day Care system to be rotated between my mom, myself, my aunt and cousin. Although I miss sleeping in my own bed I made a promise to myself that I would make my Granny time special. Last night was the sweetest night yet. A friend of my mom's passed on a CD of old hymns sung by RHCC, the church I attended most of my life. After dinner Granny asked if I would play the CD for her. Which began one of the sweetest memories I have had with my grandmother EVER! I cry even now thinking about this precious time. Over the next hour, we listened, we sang, we cried and we talked openly about when she dies. She and I picked songs for her funeral and I cried buckets of tears without being ashamed. Later she started to tell me a story of when Great Aunt Bessie died. She told me that she was very, very sad because Bessie had been like a mother to her. My cousin Sue also went through a season of being angry that God took her mother from her. A sweet lady (Granny Zant, who is also now with the angels) told Sue that Bessie was not sad she was not with Sue on earth because she was in heaven, singing and rejoicing with the angels. When Granny finished this story she looked me in the eyes but didn't say anything. She didn't have to, I understood completely what she was trying to tell me. For the rest of that time, sitting around her little kitchen table, we sang our favorite hymns together and just soaked up being together.

This morning I woke up earlier than my grandmother. I sat in bed for my quiet time and prayed peace for my sweet grandmother who unfortunately did not have an easy night last night. I opened my Bible and read the first verse that caught my eye.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit." Psalms 34:19

For someone who has been struggling with the "Where are You God?" this verse spoke volumes to me today. The Lord is near. He is with me.

Today I am a grateful for last night's hymn time with Granny.
I am grateful that we were able to talk about what could be happening in the next few months.
I am grateful that when she goes I will be able to hear her words in my head, "Dancing and rejoicing in Heaven with the angels."
I am grateful that God, through His word filled me with a comforting verse.
I am grateful in knowing that His timing is perfect and all I need to focus on is today. Not tomorrow, not months from now but today!

And as hard as the past few weeks have been to find joy in the trials; I will be filled with gratitude, knowing that these moments will be cherished for years to come.

(Sorry Cousins for the tear jerker! Love you all!)

Gratitude; Day Something

From the depths of my sick bed, I have come up with a few things I am grateful for.

1). Modern Medicine

2). My husband who made me the best comfort foods yesterday then went to his parents so I could rest. I would rather be left alone when sick.

3) The sappy Love Saga Movies on Hallmark channel yesterday. You know the Janette Oke books turned movies, Love Finds a Home, Loves Long Journey, Loves Enduring Promise and much, much more. I watched them all in between sleeping. Jeff says he always knows when I am not feeling good because I tend to watch sappy junk on television. It's true, I do.

I feel better today but I have a feeling Jeff is going to make me stay down longer. He knows me so well and knows that I will act like I am better just so that I can get out of the house because of pure boredom when really, I need to stay in bed. This coming from the man who has not taken a sick day at work, when he really should have, for atleast four years maybe more. MEN!

I am off to rest or try atleast.

Gratitude: Day Four

Today I am grateful for being at the right place at the right time.

Or am I?

There are moments where ministering to others is full of blessings; while other days it feels like someone is punching you in the gut over and over.

Today falls somewhere in between a blessing and a punch to the gut.

Sigh...

I don't really feel like it would be very fair to divulge today's events for all the blog to read. All I can say is that no matter how rough it gets, I know I was right where I needed to be. I find much gratitude in being used.


I pray every single day for the Lord to use me and to reveal why things continue to be at a stand still. I pray to be used and in all things for God's glory to be revealed. Today I believe He revealed to me a big peace of the plan. I am grateful for this yet am still wondering why me?

Double sigh...

The gratitude comes from knowing that I am not responsible for the results. The gratitude comes from knowing a door opened a door for us to help and we seized the moment together. The gratitude comes from knowing that this person would trust us enough to seek our advice. The gratitude comes from knowing that God knew in advance that this day would come with all of it's complexities and that He already knows the outcome. The gratitude comes from believing that God is in ALL things, working out good for those who love Him. The gratitude comes from realizing that this young girl needed not just me but Jeff today and we both rose to the challenge. The gratitude comes from realizing that in some strange way Jeff and I acted like parents even in the waiting, God has given us many opportunities to parent this one girl.

Today I am grateful that God gave us this opportunity today to be used for His glory.

I am filled with gratitude.

Gratitude: Day Three

Today is all about Jeff.

This is Jeff entertaining our little twin friends, Sami and Kate. I had to snap this picture for proof of Kate's love for Jeff. She just can't seem to take her eyes off my man. Which of course, he eats up.

Each day I fall more and more in love with this man. He has been a huge support to me in recent weeks and has gone over and beyond the call of duty to comfort me, support me and to love me. I thank God daily for blessing me with this man!

One Sunday afternoon, he decided we need to sing a hymn, before our Sunday nap. I decided to go with it because I had no doubt his song would be entertaining. He sings in his loudest, most upbeat voice, "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart! Where, Susan?

"Down in my heart!"

"Correct! I've got the joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Down in my heart today!"

I loved every minute. Yet, I still have no idea why he thought of that song.

Another night he took me to eat at Olive Garden. YUM! We were in the middle of trying to sort out a few unknowns we need to discuss. We were both nervous but trying to be brave for the other person. Then, he looks deep into my eyes and says "One day at time SWEET! JESUS!" I laughed so hard because that sums up exactly what I was feeling too.

Now at random times, we will turn to each other and say, "One day at a time SWEET! JESUS! " And of course we have to yell sweet and Jesus each time.

I guess you can say this is our newest family motto. The first family motto was "If it's free it's for me." The second family motto was "That behavior is just crazy and we don't do crazy round here!" (I will tell you the story behind that, one day at my funeral)

This week alone Jeff has gone over and beyond the call of duty with stuff around the house. He made dinner Monday, he surprised me by taking my grocery list and filling it and the next day he started the crock pot for me and even cleaned up the kitchen.

I have found myself saying over and over the past few weeks, "Thank you Jeff for your help!"

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

And a side note to the ladies reading this thinking "I wish my husband did that."

When Jeff and I got married, we were both very self absorbed people. We wanted the other to serve us and to make us happy. The problem with that thinking is you get stuck in a rut of me, me, me. Plus spouses are human and can not be the only source of happiness. One day, in the middle of a very rocky year, we sat down and had a what can I do for you meeting. It was a huffy affair, full of arrogance and bitter words. Thanks be to God we grew beyond that point and started truly communicating to each other. I once had a professor in college tell me that marriage was about giving not taking. In that first meeting, those words came back to me. Over the next few months, we started to take our guard down and in a calm tone told each other our top 5 needs. Over the years, we have referred back to that list many times. I am not saying we are perfect because we are not. I mess up more than I care to admit and I nag more than I should. Yet, let me tell you why I believe things have been different in the past year. I seek to serve him and he seeks to serve me. I encourage more than I nag and I believe this is why he chooses to go out of his way to do little things for me. My man loves to be honored, plain and simple. So if you are sitting on the other side of the screen, in the middle of a rocky situation in your marriage, take a moment. Pray. Confess to God your arrogance. Seek your husband and do the same. Schedule a time for you to talk. (And don't get your panties in a bunch if now is not the best time, men need time to process) Pray together. Walk away from that meeting seeking ways to give to your husband. And for the love of God, don't get mad if he doesn't change over night. In fact, don't even worry about him because all you can change AND control is yourself.

Remember, marriage is about giving not about taking!!

And...

One day at a time, SWEET! JESUS!!

Gratitude: Day Two

My plan was to post yesterday. As you can see, I did not post yesterday. Why? Because yesterday was a long, full day of activity.

In fact, Monday and Tuesday have both been very long days. I am looking forward to a less hectic schedule the rest of the week.

Which brings me to today's gratitude entry.

Monday before my Biblical Counseling class at church, Jeff calls my friend AJ's cell to give her a message. The message, "Front door knob broke-please enter through backdoor." What?!? I was not sure I could enter through the back. I left class an hour early because I needed to get home to finish a project for a meeting I had on Tuesday. I am sooooo glad I did.

While putting on comfy clothes, I heard a click, click, click sound. I thought someone was breaking in to our apartment. I told myself not to freak out. Afterall, I do own a gun and I do know how to use it. I heard the click, click, click again and realized that it didn't sound like it was coming from the front door and it didn't sound like a click, click, click but a drip, drip, drip. I stepped into the bathroom and felt the wet carpet under my feet. Yes, our brand new carpet was soaking wet.

The culprit of the drip, drip, drip....the hot water heater.

Long story short, I called our emergency maintenance hot line and Bill, the head handy man came to check it out. When he called me it was 11 at night. I felt horrible for him because he was not usually on call for emergencies and since he is close to my grandfather's age knew he was probably asleep or going to bed quickly. But at the same time, I was thankful that it was Bill coming to my rescue since he is the most reliable and capable of the two maintenance men.

Long story even shorter, he came, he fixed the hot water heater and would not leave until he changed out the front door. It was past midnight when he left. Bless his heart.

You can see why I would pick Bill to be my gratitude entry # 2. What a blessing to have someone who is reliable, safe and willing to go the extra mile for us.

Thanks Bill for taking such good care of us over the last 7 years. You are a blessing to us and so many others!