This song has been in my head all Christmas season. It is one of those songs that I love to sing while reflecting on God's goodness. Every year at this time, I read through the book of Luke. This year I find myself reflecting on the verses that say "Mary pondered these things in her heart." I wonder what it must have been like to be the mother of God, knowing one day that his life would end on the cross. Talk about a woman who had to surrender to her wishes and desires to God. Yet the Bible doesn't ever mention that she tried to runaway with Baby Jesus to protect her son's life nor does it say that she locked her son up in her home to keep him from harm. It does say though that she pondered these things in her heart often. I believe that she probably defined what it means to bloom where you are planted. She lived her life fully and served the King graciously, knowing full well what would happen, considering the book of Isaiah already told her the end story for the Messiah, her son.

So with all the hustle and bustle that tends to take over this time of year, I find myself reflecting more on God's goodness. I also in awe of Mary and her life of sacrifice. Her story is an inspiring one.

May you be blessed this Christmas season

This Time Last Year

I have been reflecting today on where I was this time last year. On this day, 365 days ago, my heart was heavy awaiting the news of Brooklyn Beaver's birth, a baby who had been diagnosed with Spina-Bifida just months before.


I wrote this verse down:

"Do not be anxious about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done." Phil 4:6


I prayed endurance for her parents wherever this journey takes them.
I prayed for the Lord to continuing blessing sweet Brooklyn with a miracle.

Over the past year, I have had many conversations with Brooklyn's mom that have left me crying tears of joy. I know God is alive and active because of what He has done in Brooklyn's life. Many things that the doctors said would not ever happen, Brooklyn has done. She is a hard worker and it I believe a large part of her success is due to the fact that Brooklyn will not give up until she has mastered whatever task is at hand.

Today on her first birthday, I am thankful for this little girl. I am thankful that God has answered many of our prayers over the past year. One of my favorite things in recent days is watching her crawl, standing ovations were happening on my side of the screen that day. I can't wait to continue to watch God's miracles happen in this girl.


And I end this special birthday post with Brooklyn's biggest fan, her mom. Oh how I love this MJ lovin mama. ( "I'm singing a Mich*el J*ck*s*n song!")


Thank you Lord for all that you have done & all that you are going to do!

Happy Birthday Elijah!

I can't believe that today you are four! It seems like yesterday I was rushing to your house to keep your big sisters while your mom and dad drove in sleet and snow to get to the hospital before you came.

You, sweet E are such a joy to be around! I love your spunk as well as your sweet spirit.

You make being being an aunt super fun!

I can't wait to see the plans God has for you unfold!

I love you dearly,

Aunt Sue Sue

Halfway There

I thought I had enough lights but one set is a total dud.

Thankfully I have a hair appointment tomorrow and it's located next to one of my favorite craft stores!

The goal for tomorrow is simple...finish my Christmas decorating so I can spend the weekend basking in the glow. :)

Tonight's movie: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

"This is what Christmas is all about...I'll park the cars, check the luggage...I will just be outside the rest of the season." Clark Griswold after the in-laws come to town

One of my favorite traditions of the Christmas season is watching Christmas in Rockefeller Center. Usually while the show is going on, I am decorating my Christmas tree or apartment. This year we purchased a new tree and it sat in the box most of the night and all my favorite little ornaments and ceramic Santa's are still packed in storage. I am hoping to pull them out today or tomorrow but to be honest, I am not in a huge rush this year.

Last night I took time to savor the slower pace, sit by the fire, sipping hot Apple Cider and waiting with anticipation of the lighting of the NYC tree. I am trying hard to get in the Christmas spirit. I look forward to decorating my tree and sitting in the glow of the lights but for now baby steps is all I can accomplish.

Please continue to pray for our family. My grandmother was admitted to a nursing home yesterday for rehab. I realize this is a blessing but my heart still aches for my grandparents who are facing the reality that life as they know it coming to a grinding halt. I will be honest and say I ache for myself too since Christmas is Granny and my season. So many of my holiday traditions are traditions I share with my grandmother. I am so thankful to have had many great memories with my grandparents especially during the holidays. God has blessed me with rich legacy of love and laughter.

So for now, sipping cider by the fire light with an unopened Christmas tree, watching one of my favorite holiday shows is just what I needed this year.

A Christmas Album MUST

I purchased this album a few weeks back because we are singing a few of the songs at church this month. I highly recommend this album if you are looking for something special to add to your collection

My favorite song is Emmanuel.

Seriously, if you are looking for a good Christian album to play during the Christmas season, this is the one for you!

Thankful for Books

As many of you already know, I am an avid reader. I heart books!

The other night at church, I picked up a copy of Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot that I had been flipping through each week. I decided it was time to take this book home for myself when I read this section. I think it is hilarious yet very convicting.

SEVERAL WAYS TO MAKE YOURSELF MISERABLE

1. Count your troubles, name them one by one-at the breakfast table, if anybody will listen, or as soon as possible thereafter.

2. Worry every day about something. Don't let yourself get out of practice. It won't add a cubit to your stature but it might burn a few calories.

3. Pity yourself. If you do enough of this, nobody else will have to do it for you.

4. Devise clever but decent ways to serve God and mammon. After all, man's got to live.

5. Make it your business to find out what the Joneses are buying this year and where they're going. Try to do them at least one better even if you have to take out another loan to do it.

6. Stay away from absolutes. It's what's right for you that matters. Be your own person and don't allow yourself to get hung up on what others expect of you.

7. Make sure you get your rights. Never mind other people's. You have your live to live, they have theirs.

8. Don't fall into any compassion traps-the sort of situation where people can walk all over you. If you get too involved in other people's troubles, you may neglect your own.

9. Don't let Bible reading and prayer get in the way of what's really relevant-things like TV and newspapers. Invisible things are eternal. You want to stick with the visible ones-they're where it's at now.

Pretty thought provoking huh?

On another note, I heard a story the other night about Elisabeth. In the past few months, as she continues to age, she is not able to speak clearly but can only babble and no one can understand what she is saying. A friend at church was driving her home to Oklahoma when Elisabeth fell asleep in the car. At some point in her sleep, Elisabeth started to pray and began to do so out loud. Margaret said that she was able to actually understand every word she said to her Heavenly Father. Is that not the sweetest thing you have heard? And it goes to show that as we age, we may lose the ability to communicate with the people around us but we NEVER lose the ability to communicate with God. I don't know about you, but I pray I never lose the desire to want to communicate to my Heavenly Father in my old age. What a sweet legacy to leave to generations behind us!

I am thankful...

I am thankful for contentment.

I am thankful that I am at peace with the waiting.

I am thankful that God has showed us that waiting on His timing is a beautiful thing.

I am thankful that this waiting period is challenging us to trust Him more and not to lean on our own understanding.

I am thankful for being able to serve others.

I am thankful that every month, I can see God's hand working especially in the area of our marriage.

I am thankful for a husband who leads us.

I am thankful for friends who encourage us.

I am thankful for His word to inspire, direct and challenge us.

I am thankful for grace.

I am thankful for deep abiding joy.

I am thankful that my circumstances do not dictate my mood.

I am thankful for my journey.

A Big Ole Gratitude Post

My heart is full of conflicting emotions today. Truth is, I have been struggling the past few weeks to find gratitude but I don't want to stop looking for it either. I am a big believer in finding the good in all things. Call me Pollyanna if you want but I believe a grateful heart is the key to a joyful heart. I have struggled with being positive though the past few weeks. I have cried out to God and questioned whether or not He was really hearing my prayers. On top of my conflicting emotions, I have been watching my grandmother go downhill and my heart aches realizing that my favorite friend, comforter and Granny is not going to be around much longer. Which leads me to last night.

(Cagle cousins beware---tear jerker alert!)

For the past few weeks, I have been spending every Tuesday night with my grandmother. My grandfather has to work to pay the bills and Granny's health does not allow her to be left alone. I coordinated a Granny Day Care system to be rotated between my mom, myself, my aunt and cousin. Although I miss sleeping in my own bed I made a promise to myself that I would make my Granny time special. Last night was the sweetest night yet. A friend of my mom's passed on a CD of old hymns sung by RHCC, the church I attended most of my life. After dinner Granny asked if I would play the CD for her. Which began one of the sweetest memories I have had with my grandmother EVER! I cry even now thinking about this precious time. Over the next hour, we listened, we sang, we cried and we talked openly about when she dies. She and I picked songs for her funeral and I cried buckets of tears without being ashamed. Later she started to tell me a story of when Great Aunt Bessie died. She told me that she was very, very sad because Bessie had been like a mother to her. My cousin Sue also went through a season of being angry that God took her mother from her. A sweet lady (Granny Zant, who is also now with the angels) told Sue that Bessie was not sad she was not with Sue on earth because she was in heaven, singing and rejoicing with the angels. When Granny finished this story she looked me in the eyes but didn't say anything. She didn't have to, I understood completely what she was trying to tell me. For the rest of that time, sitting around her little kitchen table, we sang our favorite hymns together and just soaked up being together.

This morning I woke up earlier than my grandmother. I sat in bed for my quiet time and prayed peace for my sweet grandmother who unfortunately did not have an easy night last night. I opened my Bible and read the first verse that caught my eye.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit." Psalms 34:19

For someone who has been struggling with the "Where are You God?" this verse spoke volumes to me today. The Lord is near. He is with me.

Today I am a grateful for last night's hymn time with Granny.
I am grateful that we were able to talk about what could be happening in the next few months.
I am grateful that when she goes I will be able to hear her words in my head, "Dancing and rejoicing in Heaven with the angels."
I am grateful that God, through His word filled me with a comforting verse.
I am grateful in knowing that His timing is perfect and all I need to focus on is today. Not tomorrow, not months from now but today!

And as hard as the past few weeks have been to find joy in the trials; I will be filled with gratitude, knowing that these moments will be cherished for years to come.

(Sorry Cousins for the tear jerker! Love you all!)

Gratitude; Day Something

From the depths of my sick bed, I have come up with a few things I am grateful for.

1). Modern Medicine

2). My husband who made me the best comfort foods yesterday then went to his parents so I could rest. I would rather be left alone when sick.

3) The sappy Love Saga Movies on Hallmark channel yesterday. You know the Janette Oke books turned movies, Love Finds a Home, Loves Long Journey, Loves Enduring Promise and much, much more. I watched them all in between sleeping. Jeff says he always knows when I am not feeling good because I tend to watch sappy junk on television. It's true, I do.

I feel better today but I have a feeling Jeff is going to make me stay down longer. He knows me so well and knows that I will act like I am better just so that I can get out of the house because of pure boredom when really, I need to stay in bed. This coming from the man who has not taken a sick day at work, when he really should have, for atleast four years maybe more. MEN!

I am off to rest or try atleast.

Gratitude: Day Four

Today I am grateful for being at the right place at the right time.

Or am I?

There are moments where ministering to others is full of blessings; while other days it feels like someone is punching you in the gut over and over.

Today falls somewhere in between a blessing and a punch to the gut.

Sigh...

I don't really feel like it would be very fair to divulge today's events for all the blog to read. All I can say is that no matter how rough it gets, I know I was right where I needed to be. I find much gratitude in being used.


I pray every single day for the Lord to use me and to reveal why things continue to be at a stand still. I pray to be used and in all things for God's glory to be revealed. Today I believe He revealed to me a big peace of the plan. I am grateful for this yet am still wondering why me?

Double sigh...

The gratitude comes from knowing that I am not responsible for the results. The gratitude comes from knowing a door opened a door for us to help and we seized the moment together. The gratitude comes from knowing that this person would trust us enough to seek our advice. The gratitude comes from knowing that God knew in advance that this day would come with all of it's complexities and that He already knows the outcome. The gratitude comes from believing that God is in ALL things, working out good for those who love Him. The gratitude comes from realizing that this young girl needed not just me but Jeff today and we both rose to the challenge. The gratitude comes from realizing that in some strange way Jeff and I acted like parents even in the waiting, God has given us many opportunities to parent this one girl.

Today I am grateful that God gave us this opportunity today to be used for His glory.

I am filled with gratitude.

Gratitude: Day Three

Today is all about Jeff.

This is Jeff entertaining our little twin friends, Sami and Kate. I had to snap this picture for proof of Kate's love for Jeff. She just can't seem to take her eyes off my man. Which of course, he eats up.

Each day I fall more and more in love with this man. He has been a huge support to me in recent weeks and has gone over and beyond the call of duty to comfort me, support me and to love me. I thank God daily for blessing me with this man!

One Sunday afternoon, he decided we need to sing a hymn, before our Sunday nap. I decided to go with it because I had no doubt his song would be entertaining. He sings in his loudest, most upbeat voice, "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart! Where, Susan?

"Down in my heart!"

"Correct! I've got the joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Down in my heart today!"

I loved every minute. Yet, I still have no idea why he thought of that song.

Another night he took me to eat at Olive Garden. YUM! We were in the middle of trying to sort out a few unknowns we need to discuss. We were both nervous but trying to be brave for the other person. Then, he looks deep into my eyes and says "One day at time SWEET! JESUS!" I laughed so hard because that sums up exactly what I was feeling too.

Now at random times, we will turn to each other and say, "One day at a time SWEET! JESUS! " And of course we have to yell sweet and Jesus each time.

I guess you can say this is our newest family motto. The first family motto was "If it's free it's for me." The second family motto was "That behavior is just crazy and we don't do crazy round here!" (I will tell you the story behind that, one day at my funeral)

This week alone Jeff has gone over and beyond the call of duty with stuff around the house. He made dinner Monday, he surprised me by taking my grocery list and filling it and the next day he started the crock pot for me and even cleaned up the kitchen.

I have found myself saying over and over the past few weeks, "Thank you Jeff for your help!"

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

And a side note to the ladies reading this thinking "I wish my husband did that."

When Jeff and I got married, we were both very self absorbed people. We wanted the other to serve us and to make us happy. The problem with that thinking is you get stuck in a rut of me, me, me. Plus spouses are human and can not be the only source of happiness. One day, in the middle of a very rocky year, we sat down and had a what can I do for you meeting. It was a huffy affair, full of arrogance and bitter words. Thanks be to God we grew beyond that point and started truly communicating to each other. I once had a professor in college tell me that marriage was about giving not taking. In that first meeting, those words came back to me. Over the next few months, we started to take our guard down and in a calm tone told each other our top 5 needs. Over the years, we have referred back to that list many times. I am not saying we are perfect because we are not. I mess up more than I care to admit and I nag more than I should. Yet, let me tell you why I believe things have been different in the past year. I seek to serve him and he seeks to serve me. I encourage more than I nag and I believe this is why he chooses to go out of his way to do little things for me. My man loves to be honored, plain and simple. So if you are sitting on the other side of the screen, in the middle of a rocky situation in your marriage, take a moment. Pray. Confess to God your arrogance. Seek your husband and do the same. Schedule a time for you to talk. (And don't get your panties in a bunch if now is not the best time, men need time to process) Pray together. Walk away from that meeting seeking ways to give to your husband. And for the love of God, don't get mad if he doesn't change over night. In fact, don't even worry about him because all you can change AND control is yourself.

Remember, marriage is about giving not about taking!!

And...

One day at a time, SWEET! JESUS!!

Gratitude: Day Two

My plan was to post yesterday. As you can see, I did not post yesterday. Why? Because yesterday was a long, full day of activity.

In fact, Monday and Tuesday have both been very long days. I am looking forward to a less hectic schedule the rest of the week.

Which brings me to today's gratitude entry.

Monday before my Biblical Counseling class at church, Jeff calls my friend AJ's cell to give her a message. The message, "Front door knob broke-please enter through backdoor." What?!? I was not sure I could enter through the back. I left class an hour early because I needed to get home to finish a project for a meeting I had on Tuesday. I am sooooo glad I did.

While putting on comfy clothes, I heard a click, click, click sound. I thought someone was breaking in to our apartment. I told myself not to freak out. Afterall, I do own a gun and I do know how to use it. I heard the click, click, click again and realized that it didn't sound like it was coming from the front door and it didn't sound like a click, click, click but a drip, drip, drip. I stepped into the bathroom and felt the wet carpet under my feet. Yes, our brand new carpet was soaking wet.

The culprit of the drip, drip, drip....the hot water heater.

Long story short, I called our emergency maintenance hot line and Bill, the head handy man came to check it out. When he called me it was 11 at night. I felt horrible for him because he was not usually on call for emergencies and since he is close to my grandfather's age knew he was probably asleep or going to bed quickly. But at the same time, I was thankful that it was Bill coming to my rescue since he is the most reliable and capable of the two maintenance men.

Long story even shorter, he came, he fixed the hot water heater and would not leave until he changed out the front door. It was past midnight when he left. Bless his heart.

You can see why I would pick Bill to be my gratitude entry # 2. What a blessing to have someone who is reliable, safe and willing to go the extra mile for us.

Thanks Bill for taking such good care of us over the last 7 years. You are a blessing to us and so many others!

Gratitude: Day One

I am thankful for my grandparents, two of my favorite people ever.

In college, I came home almost every weekend to wait tables at the Chili's I worked at before leaving for college. Every weekend they would come to eat in my section. My grandfather would tip me a great deal of money. The first time he did this I said, "Bonner this is way too much. I can't take this." He refused my efforts to return the money and told me this was their way of helping me through college. I will forever be grateful to them for that help.

A few weeks before I married Jeff, we had a snow storm in Texas (small flakes to most Northerners). I was over at my grandparents having dinner when Bonner looked outside and deemed the roads unsafe for me to drive home. I ended up staying with them for 3 days just because I was having too much fun to leave.

Many times during the seven years Jeff and I have married, Jeff has asked if I wanted to spend the night with my grandparents. Jeff works nights so it hasn't taken away anytime that I would be spending with him. I can't count the number of times I have shown up to their house with my bag and pillow in hand without any notice. The first thing Bonner says is "Martha, it looks like Ding-a-Ling is back."

And to which my Granny says, "My lands, it seems you are right."

As their lives are beginning to wind down, these are just a few of the memories that I carry with me for years to come. I am grateful for their love and support. I am grateful that we live as close as we do and I am grateful that in this season of our lives, I can give back to them just as much as they have given to me.

A Typical Road Trip Family Photo

This is a typical road trip family photo for the two of us. Jeff holds the camera and we try to point so that you can get the place we are visiting in the background. We are standing in front of the Old Point Loma light house in this photo.

I have found that this is the one of the only ways to get Jeff to smile for the camera. Otherwise he gives me something like this...


I'm just kidding. This is the actual picture I get from Jeff



After I snapped this picture he says, "Come look over the ledge with me."

So I did and this is what I saw...



Yes, that man is not clothed.

And yes, I laughed. I LAUGHED LOUDLY!

Apprantley a bit too loud since the he turned over to see where the noise was coming from. He heard me way up top, above the waves of the ocean. Amazing!

About that time, this guys flies overhead. Talk about a bird's eye view

Feeling Disconnected

I am not really sure when it started, I just started to pull away.

I no longer feel the urge to share the tidbits of my life nor the lessons God has laid on my heart. Instead, I want to hold all of these close to my heart for my own personal pondering. Along the way I picked up other hobbies non computer oriented. I fell in love with reading again and now will read one to two books weekly. I started to study my Bible and memorize scripture like I have never done in the past. I started decorating my Bloom Where I am Planted apartment and have fallen head over heals in love with Apartment One-Oh-Nine. All of these things have kept me away from the blog world and I have not really missed it.

Two weeks ago, Jeff and I went on the trip of our lives. I think the thing I loved most about this trip is that it was a spur of the moment destination. I did not plan every detail, rent books about the location nor ask for feedback from my friends for things to do and see. I was completely clueless until two hours before we left town on where we were going. All I knew is that I needed to pack layers on the off chance that our final stop was cold. We headed to San Diego, Jeff's hometown. I spent the week learning about my husband's childhood. His favorite restaurant growing up (unfortunately, I hated it), went to his favorite thinking spot out on the ocean, walked around a fountain that he ran around chasing birds as a little boy. I saw both his parents childhood homes. I saw the place that his dad took his mom on their first date when they were in high school. I lived fully in the moment and it was fabulous.

During that week, Jeff and I turned off our cell phones, unplugged completely from facebook, email and the blog world. It was the icing on the cake for one of the best Young Family road trips ever.

Completely unplugging that week has made my reentry to the real world a bit unnerving. There is a part of me that would love to share with you in pictures our adventure. And another part of me wants to hold this trip close to my heart a bit longer and cherish the memories bouncing in my head. I want to spend the limited amount of free time soaking up and living in the moment instead of looking at life like another opportunity for blog material.

I honestly don't know where to go with this but I am going to take it one day at a time. Forgive me if I am absent from all forms of social networking outlets over the next few weeks. I need a little bit of time to enjoy my life on the other side of the computer screen.

I am in a good place and am looking forward to what each new day brings.

Thank you Lord for opening my heart to letting go and living in the moment, one day at a time.

Song In My Head: Be Still by Kari Jobe

I woke up with the song Be Still by Kari Jobe playing in my head. It's such a great song that I just had to post on the blog.

And in other news, my Uncle Stan is being released from the hospital tomorrow. I pray that tomorrow be the start of a new beginning for Uncle Stan, his daughters and our whole family. One thing I know for sure is that if we seek Him, we will find Him, when we seek Him with all of our heart. (Jeremiah 29:13) To God be the glory great things He hath done.


Here is the video, enjoy!

Detour Ahead

Would it come as any surprise to you that Jeff and I have changed our traveling plans in a big way over the past 48 hours?

If there is one lesson I have learned from being married to Jeff is to be flexible, no plan is ever set in stone and usually the new plan is way, way better.

Instead of a heading west to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon we are heading east to the beach. Instead of driving many days to reach our destination, we are driving one. Instead of hopping from place to place we are staying put for eight fabulous, fun filled days. During these eight days we are going to sleep in, read books, eat at odd hours of the day and veg on the beach as long as our little hearts desire.

It's going to be FABULOUS!

I have four days to get this place back in order after the new carpet was installed. I can't believe we didn't raise you know what earlier on, this place looks 100% better. Even though it's been nuts in my neck of the woods the past three weeks, there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. Praise the Lord this crazy season is winding down a bit.

Celebrating Fall

How do you like my pumpkins? I try to add one thing to my fall decor each year and these are the newest arrivals. I love fall, it really is my favorite time of year.

I love pumpkin patches, fall leaves, Halloween candy, cooler temperatures and Thanksgiving.

There is just something special this season, don't you think?

Things I Am Looking Forward To During Fall 2009:

1) Young Family Road trip 2009 with Jeff (Balloon Fiesta, Las Vegas & Grand Canyon)
2) New Carpet (coming on Monday--excited doesn't even describe it)
3) Football, Football and more Football
4) Visiting friends
5) catching up on my reading
6) knitting my first scarf
7) Cagle Cousin Thanksgiving (it's going to be a packed house in P,TX)
8) Fame & New Moon out in theatres, both of which cause Jeff to tease me endlessly
9) pulling out my comfy socks and pants
10) Turkey Trot 2009 with great friends


And here are some of my favorite pictures from Fall's past

Cheering on my Alma Mater at last year's homecoming game

3 of my favorite little friends at the pumpkin patch two years ago. Aren't they adorable?

Faith's first time jumping into the leaf pile. A Cagle Cousin tradition

Jeff and I @ the Turkey Trot 2008, we were super sweaty when this picture was taken

Goofing off with my BF Susan during the race


The other Susan

Here's too another great Fall season! Let's make it a good one :)

When It Rains, It Pours

Does it come as a surprise to you that I don't like things being out of whack?



This my friends is the epitome of out-of-whack! Why yes, that is our entertainment center in the middle of the living room. Our roof sprung a leak but yet we live on the ground floor. The upstairs neighbors get water in the fireplace, nicely contained. We get water dripping down the wall, not so nicely contained.


Unfortunately nothing can be truly done until the rain stops. Fortunately we are getting new carpet and a paint job, throughout the whole apartment. I calmly went down to the office yesterday and suggested that since I have been a loyal tenant for the past EIGHT YEARS, they could reward us with a little special treatment. Especially after leak number two started yesterday, in our kitchen, no fault of our own.



(ignore the random placed candlesticks, that side of the kitchen is a work in progress)

Nice.

I am hoping we can get this resolved by next week since we are living for vacation soon. Let's just say I am so ready to walk out that door for a little
R & R with hubs, alone, with no cell phone, no computer and no leaky roof.

It's going to be nice.

very, very nice.